The Different Stages of Grief

grief and alone

grief and alcoholGrief is the normal response for when a person loses something or someone that is extremely important to them. A person suffering from grief may feel many different emotions that can include loneliness and sadness. They also might feel different emotions for a variety of different reasons. It can be caused by losing a job when a relationship has ended or one a loved one has died. Grief can also be felt when someone has a huge life change, suffers from a chronic illness, or moving to an unfamiliar area.

Not all people grieve in their own way. However, if you learn to understand the emotions you are feeling, look for support and take care of yourself, it is possible to heal from the loss.

Different Stages of Grief

The feelings that come with grief can happen in different phases as you begin to come to terms with the loss you’ve experienced. You need to be honest with yourself because you really can’t actually control the process of grief. This is why it’s very important to know what the reasons are for what you might be feeling. Professionals have identified the five most common stages in the process of grief:

  • Denial – It is perfectly normal to think that your loss hasn’t really happened. Often you will feel numb or shocked at the loss. You need to realize that this feeling is just temporary and it is a way that your mind reacts to the overwhelming emotions you might be feeling. Denial is your minds defense mechanism.
  • Anger – Once the reality of your loss starts to set in, you then are faced with the actual pain of the loss. You could feel helpless and even frustrated by it. Then this will most often turn into anger. This anger often can be directed toward other people in your life, angry at God, or just angry at life. It’s also perfectly normal to be angry at the person that left you or died.
  • Bargaining – During this phase of grief, often you’ll find yourself dwelling on what you may have been able to do to have prevented this loss. Most common thoughts can often be “What if I had done this or that?” or “If only I had done this or that.” Sometimes people will often try to make a deal with God over their loss.
  • Depression – Once you start to understand the loss and how it is affecting your life a sadness will often set in and then this most often leads to depression. Some of the signs that you’re depressed often include a lot of crying, inability to sleep, lack of appetite. You also may feel regretful, lonely, and overwhelmed by the loss.
  • Acceptance – This is usually the last phase of grief. This is when you finally accept the truth and reality of the loss in your life. You finally realize that this is something that simply can’t be changed. You more than likely will still have sad feelings about it but you are finally at the stage where you feel you can move on with your life.

All People Go Through the Same Phases

No matter who you are or what the loss is, each person will go through the same phases of grief, however, since each person is different, they are going to go through them in their own way and often go through the different phases in different orders. You might also swing back and forth between the different phases and you might even skip some stages totally. Also, it’s important to note that there will be reminders of the loss such as an anniversary, a song you enjoyed together, a birthday, the anniversary of their death, and so much more can actually cause the grief to return.

Is There a Normal Amount of Time to Mourn?

When it comes to grief, there really is no normal amount time for someone to go through the grieving process. The process of grief can depend on several different things that include personality, personal and spiritual beliefs, age and the kind of support you have. The kind of loss you are suffering can also factor in. For instance, your grief will more than likely last much longer if someone you love dies than if someone breaks off a relationship with you.

No matter how awful grief can make you feel, as time passes the sadness will ease. Eventually, you will be able to experience joy and happiness even with the grief still being present. Eventually, you’ll feel better and will be able to return to your normal daily activities.

How Do You Know You Need Help From a Professional?

There are some people who find their grief is overwhelming and does not get any better over time. Often this is because they are having difficulty in accepting their loss. Often times this is called “complicated grief”. If you are having great difficulty accepting a loss in your life it is recommended that you talk to a doctor especially if you are suffering from any of the things listed below:

  • You are finding it difficult to keep up with your normal daily routine such as unable to go to work or even clean your own home.
  • Feeling extremely depressed and it won’t go away.
  • Start thinking that life just isn’t worth living.
  • Thoughts of actually hurting yourself.
  • Unable to stop blaming yourself for the loss.

Consider Seeking Help From a Therapist

If you are finding it difficult to cope with the grief of grief and supportyour loss you might want to seek the help of a therapist. A therapist will help you explore the emotions you are experiencing. They can also teach you some very important coping skills that can help you learn to manage the grief that you are experiencing. They can also help you with any depression you might be experiencing and they might even prescribe medication you help you feel much better.

All to often if a person is suffering from severe emotional pain it often is tempting to find a way to numb their feelings by drinking alcohol, taking illegal drugs, overeat or under eat or even become a workaholic. You need to be very careful with these temptations because they are just a temporary way to escape the grief. These things are not going to help you heal any faster or even feel better. In fact, they can lead to anxiety, more depression and sometimes can lead to addiction and even can lead to a total emotional breakdown.

Don’t Give Into the Temptations

Instead of giving into the temptations around you there are things you might want to consider trying. The following things that can help you to start healing from your loss and grief:

  • Make sure to give yourself plenty of time during the grieving process. You should accept these feelings and know that they are a natural part of your grieving process.
  • It’s important to talk to other people. It’s important that you take time out and spend it with family and friends. The last thing you want to do is to be isolated.
  • It’s important that you make sure to take care of yourself while you are grieving. You should make sure to exercise, even if it’s just taking short walks. Eat food that’s good for you. Make sure to get lots of sleep. Take care of your health and try to stay energized.
  • Make sure to get involved with the hobbies. Do activities that you have always enjoyed doing. These should be things that have brought you joy in the past.
  • Finally, consider joining a support group. Often when you talk to others who are also going through grief it can help you feel much better. It can also help you feel a lot more connected.


Most Common Phobias People Suffer From


phobias-needlesSo, what are most people afraid of? There are a lot of different things people are afraid of. In this post, we cover the most common phobias that people most often suffer from. Fear is a very real and common emotion that we all suffer from in our lives occasionally. However, phobias can be excessive and even uncontrollable for those suffering from them.

It can be extremely difficult for someone to overcome a phobia and when extremely intense can make a huge impact on their daily lives. In order for people to be helped, trained professionals have studied many different phobias in order for them to understand the disorder in order to help people who suffer from them.

Social Phobias

The most common of all phobias would be social ones. These phobias are considered anxiety disorders and they include people being excessively self-conscious in many different social situations.

Some people have such bad social phobias that they are so afraid of being judged that they do all they can to avoid certain social situations, even eating in front of other people.

It is thought that 1 in 20 people have some form of a social phobia.


This is one of those phobias where people are afraid of open spaces. However, this is a much more complex phobia than just being afraid of open spaces.

This is an extremely serious disorder involving anxiety. It is one of those phobias that can actually keep people trapped in their homes and it can make living a normal life nearly impossible for them. Others who suffer from this will just avoid certain venues or places.


Phobias such as acrophobia are one where people are extremely afraid of heights. Some are so afraid of heights that they can’t even go on escalators at their local malls because it causes them to suffer from vertigo. Suffering from vertigo means that they feel extreme dizziness when they are dealing with heights. For some people, tall buildings or cliff top lookouts can make their heads spin.


This is the fear of flying. This is one of those phobias that isn’t helped when air disasters are covered in the media and can only intensify their fear of flying. Even though the fact that there are over 100,000 commercial airline flights every day and the chance of someone being struck by lightning is much higher than an airline crash, doesn’t help those who suffer from this phobia.


This is one of those phobias that can actually sometimes go hand in hand with their fear of flying because it’s a fear of being stuck in enclosed spaces.

Those who suffer from this phobia they often feel like the walls are literally closing in around them. There are some experts believe that there could actually be a genetic link to some phobias such as this, with a survival mechanism that has laid dormant.


Even though insects are a very crucial link in our food chain and truly can’t live without them doesn’t help those who suffer from this phobia. This is the fear of all insects, it’s understandable since many of them do bite.


This is a real fear of snakes. Having the fear of things that are long and often venomous is a common fear for a lot of people and it’s understandable. One thing many should realize about snakes is that if you just leave them alone, most of the time they will leave us alone.


This is one of those phobias that many of us may simply not understand. This is because it is the fear of dogs. Many children and people who go door to door for one reason or another are quite often afraid of dogs. This fear of dogs can also be made worse if they have an experience with a dog that is a negative one. It’s also one of those phobias that can be difficult to actually overcome. One of the reasons for this is that dogs can actually sense someone’s fear of them.


There are many people who have this phobia, it’s the fear of storms. The boom of thunder can send a lot of people with this phobia rushing to try and find a safe place as their hearts are pounding in their chest in fear of the upcoming storm.

Even though it is often the thunder that triggers their fear response, it’s the lightning that will actually hurt someone. However, the chance of being hit by lightning is extremely unlikely.


This is the fear of needles. Everyone finds being stabbed by a sharp needle not very pleasant. Those who have trypanophobia, however, have an extremely strong fear and aversion to needles of all kinds.

Even though needles are important and worth the pain because most of the time they are used it is for health reasons or life-saving procedures. This knowledge, however, doesn’t help those who fear needles.


There probably isn’t anyone who loves going to the dentist. However, those suffering from this phobia makes even getting their teeth cleaned nearly impossible. Those who suffer from this not only are afraid of the pain that often comes with dentistry that even the mere thought of just having an appointment can cause a panic attack.


This is a pretty common fear and is the fear of phobias-spidersspiders of all kinds. Some people are so afraid of spiders that they can’t even function if they know one is anywhere near them. Even though most spiders are actually harmless, this knowledge does not help those suffering from this phobia. Some will literally panic the moment they see a spider and will ask someone else to kill it for them.

These are just a few of the most common phobias that many people suffer from. For anyone who might be suffering from any phobia that is impacting their lives might want to consider seeking help from a professional that can help them learn to deal with their phobias.


Tips for Handling a Panic Attack at Work

no panic attack

panic attack at workWhen it comes to panic attacks, they can be extremely excruciating, especially if one happens to pop up while at work. This type of mental health problem can even derail your entire day. However, if you have work to do, sometimes you have to learn how to power through the panic attack. So, if it happens at work, what can you do to manage the panic attack so you can continue working?

Here are a few tips that you can try that should help you get through a panic attack while at work:

Try Focusing On Your Breathing

When a panic attack strikes, you need to get in touch with your breathing. If you do this, you’ll be able to help yourself to calm your entire body down. It’s best if you try and do this at your desk while working.

Try to sit as comfortable as you can in your chair. Make sure that your shoulders and head are as relaxed as possible. Put one of your hands on your stomach and the other on your chest during the panic attack. Then take in several deep breaths through your nose and then exhale your breath through your mouth. Make sure to pay attention to how your muscles tighten when you release your breath.

Try to Concentrate On Your Task

If a panic attack strikes, it’s important to do your best to remind yourself that it will pass and do all that you can to try and focus on the task that you are working on. Put all your focus on this and see if you can ride it out by putting all you have into what you are working on.

Consider Going Someplace Private

If you can’t seem to calm down in your work area, this is very understandable. You may then want to go someplace more private like the bathroom or another area that’s private so you can deal with your panic attack. One thing you can do is splash some cool water on your face and neck. After you do that then try to take a couple of minutes to focus on breathing again. You also might want to tell yourself “I’m just fine.” over and over again until you start to feel calmer.

Take a Break and Go for a Walk

Another way you can try to take control of your panic attack is to take a mental break from your work. This can often be a good way to slow down any racing thoughts that might be causing the panic attack. Try taking a brisk walk around the building where you work or go somewhere you can listen to some soothing music. Whatever it is, do something that lets your body know you are just fine.

Consider Reaching Out to a Person You Trust

When a panic attack hits, it can be difficult sometimes to handle on your own. This is why it often can help if you reach out to either a co-worker or a manager that you might trust and feel comfortable with. If you don’t feel confident talking with someone at work you might call a friend or a loved one.

It’s important that you find someone who can support you and validate what’s happening. You need someone that will give you support you need and then let their comforting words sink in. Often they can actually help you to reframe what you might be experiencing.

If you can’t find anyone to talk to then you might want to look at pictures that you may have on your phone. These should be pictures that will help you think about happy times and that will help you feel and think more positive.

Try to Stay at Work for the Day

Even though it is alright to consider taking a mental panic attack 2health day off if you really need to do it. This is because a panic attack really can be totally debilitating and can make it totally impossible to do anything. However, this can make some people rely on this particular option too much and this can create a pattern where your mind will end up equating safety by not being at work. It’s best to try and stay at work when having a panic attack.

Try to Find Mental Health Resources in the Workplace

If it is common for you to have a panic attack at work, you might want to talk to HR and see if they have any options that are available on the job regarding mental health issues. Most companies shouldn’t have an issue with this and it’s vital that the workplace be more understanding when it comes to mental health issues for their employees.

It’s important to find out if your place of employment offers support for individuals that suffer from a variety of mental issues including anxiety issues such as panic attacks.

Remind Yourself It Isn’t Your Fault

One of the most important things is to remember to remind yourself that none of this is your fault. When you suffer from a panic attack you need to show compassion to yourself. Understand that a mental health issue does not mean that it’s a flaw in your personality.

It’s important that you don’t put yourself down at any time but especially during a panic attack. Don’t allow yourself to tell you that you’re a failure or that you’re a loser. You need to try to work on accepting yourself, especially during a panic attack.